Rob Fahrni

Follow @fahrni on Micro.blog.

Definitely not Immortal

I don’t believe in making resolutions for the new year. If something needs doing, just do it.

I’m just starting to feel better after a few days fighting off a stomach bug. There’s an alarming trend with my health. When someone in my family gets sick I seem to be the only other member of the family to get sick.

Friday afternoon I started feeling uncomfortable. By Friday evening my granddaughter and I were both pretty darned sick. She was worse off than me. She stopped vomiting around 11PM and fell asleep. Poor baby was wiped out.

I puked my first and only time at 2AM (my issue has been the other end!) Last time I checked the time it was 2:45AM. I fell to sleep sometime after that.

She woke up Saturday feeling much better. I, on the other hand, slept most of the day and stayed in bed as much as my gut would allow.

The dogs woke me up Sunday morning. I was still off. I felt detached from my body. When I’d touch things they didn’t feel real. No fever, but it’s often how I feel with a fever. I managed to eat dinner. My first meal since the slice of pizza I had Friday evening before symptoms really kicked in.

Here we are, Monday morning. My gut is still gurgling and feels fragile. I did have coffee. I was hoping it wasn’t a mistake and so far, so good. No vomiting since Friday but still having issues out the other end. I’ve managed to keep down water and Gatorade just fine. Today I’m hoping some additional solids will help get me over the hump.

All of this to say I’m thinking about my mortality more than ever before. My body is breaking down and I’ve not helped myself by becoming morbidly obese — according to the doctor based on my weight. I get tired easily and my body flat out hurts most of the time. I sit on my butt way too much. I’ve become that lazy man I said I’d never become and it’s going to kill me. And still, after all that, I lack the motivation to do anything about it.

What’s wrong with me?

To be totally honest I can’t die anytime soon. I’ve predicted my own demise at 80 years old if things don’t change. I have a wife, kids, and grandkids who still depend on me. Couple that with being an idiot when it comes to financial planning and I’ve setup the perfect American nightmare scenario. Aging husband, retired wife, two kids who struggle in our economy. We are one medical disaster away from all of us living on the streets. That’s the most American thing I can think of.

One of my biggest issues is having a positive attitude about things working out. I’ve always felt like we’ll be ok and find our way through. To date, we’ve managed to just that.

I’d imagine this is a fairly average tale as folks age and realize they are indeed mortal and they did a horrible job of financial planning. Also, I believe, very American. 😂

Kim, my amazing wife, is right. I need to make big changes. I used to be active and loved going to the gym. I need to exercise more. I also need to stop abusing my body with crummy food. I love fast food. There, I admitted it. I love to eat. It’s a terrible attribute. Why couldn’t I be “addicted” to math the way I am to food? Genetics has something to do with it, I’m sure. I developed a strange attitude after almost dying at the age of 17. My attitude was: If I want it, I’m getting it. A second piece of pie? Yes, please. Yep, another brilliant strategy.

If anyone knows of a study that’s been conducted on people’s relationship with food please point me to it. I obviously have a bad one. It’s like being a crack addict or alcoholic. It’s like staying in that abusive relationship because you’re in love. I’m sorry if that comparison offends anyone. I have no other way to make my point. I have a real problem.

AHHHHHH!I know, I know, what a strange thing to share.

This is just me with a quiet morning to myself, coming off being sick, with a slightly addled brain (still feeling detached) from the ordeal. 🤪