To summarize:
- Marmalade Messiah: Narcissistic Sociopath President of the United States
- Whiskey Pete: Drunk White Nationalist Secretary of the Department of Defense
- J. Edgar Boozer: Drunk Dumbass Director of the FBI
Please send help. The United States is a real mess at the moment.
If you have plans to visit the US, please reconsider, it’s not safe to be here.